Our choices create our reality. This is why how we make a choice is vital to creating the kind of life we want to live. It’s important to be aware that we see the present and the future through the lenses of the past. But today I am not who I was yesterday, I have already outgrown that version of myself. So not all the truth from the past is the truth of today.
We make decisions and we choose what to do based on our experience. But our experience is biased. We have a certain experience until we learn our lesson. But once we do, we don’t need to repeat that kind of experience. So then why do we make choices like we expect to relieve it? Because we see the present and the future based on the past.
This is why choices should not be made by the mind. The mind is always making decisions based on the past and a truth that is no longer true. Our body, being connected with everything else knows what is best for us. Our intuition is the one who can guide us through our new reality.
Every time we learn a lesson, we change our current reality to a new one. Now we have new things to discover and new lessons to learn. And our mind cannot guide us into this new reality because it relies entirely on the past reality, which is no longer real. Our intuition is the only one who can guide us through our new reality.
This is why it’s important for us to always rely on and listen to our intuition. Our minds are not able to make the right decision for us and whatever the mind chooses, more often than not, it questions. Did I make the right decision? Am I missing something? Was this a mistake? And so on. But whenever I let my intuition tell me the answer, I just have a deep knowing that this was the right choice for me, I don’t question it. And even if sometimes I might, I immediately have the clear awareness that it was indeed the right choice.
When we listen to our intuition when making a decision, we make that decision out of love. I have come to learn that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. Whenever we have to choose something, we are either choosing what to do from inspiration, from love, from hope, or we are choosing what to do because we are afraid of what might happen if we choose differently.
Usually, our intuition tells us which is the decision we could make out of love (for ourselves and others), and the mind, which is taking into consideration all the outcomes it cat comprehend, usually makes the decision out of fear (by choosing the thing that is less likely to hurt us).
I’ll give you an example: if I get a client that I know is not right for me, I can choose one of two options. 1) I can choose not to take him/her on, because I love myself enough not to put myself or my client through the misery of working for a year with someone with whom I’m incompatible with. That would result in me dreading work and not giving my best because of it, and as a result, my client will be unhappy with my services. At the same time, this client fills the space I have (for a client) which could be filled with a client I love. Or 2) I can choose to take him/her on because I’m afraid to say no to a client because another one might not come my way and I won’t have enough money. But if I choose option 2, the work I would end up doing for those months would actually need way more energy and would feel to me like two or more clients. I’m sure you had a client who you felt was taking all of your energy (or at least most of it). Because it will take even more of my energy than a good client, I wouldn’t be able to take on as many clients as I could if they are the right clients. So in the end, the thing I feared actually comes true anyway because this one client takes the place of two or three clients who are right for me. So I end up losing twice the amount of money I’m making by taking him on.
I have experienced this enough to truly feel it. At first I took on any client that came my way and I resented most of them (at least until the wedding, because for me on the day of the wedding, when I see how happy they are, it was all worth it and I feel that everything else disappears). As I started taking on only the right clients, things shifted and I could clearly see the difference between a right client and an incompatible one. When I finish a call with an incompatible client I am literally drained. I just want to go to sleep and not do anything else for at least one day (thank God we don’t have that many calls!). But when I finish a call with a client whom I love and I feel is right for me, I am the opposite! I am full of energy, I recharge while talking to them and planning (without taking their energy, but by tapping into my love for what I do). I always say “I love my work and I love my clients! Universe, please send me more of this kind of clients!” when I end the call. The feeling I have is amazing, I can take on the world with that energy! Even if it’s the same amount of time, the result is very different!
This is why choosing love is the best thing you can do for yourself and your life. And Life has shown me this time and time again, in different ways. Of course that choosing love is not always easy, especially at the beginning, when you’re used to let the mind choose and you mostly chose fear. More than this, at first I didn’t even realize how I made the decision. But then I started asking myself: “Why am I choosing this? Out of love or out of fear?” And you’d be surprised by how often the response was fear. 🙂 Sometimes, the outcome you can perceive is so scary that you really want to choose out of fear so that you can protect yourself.
Because when you are choosing out of fear, you’re trying to protect yourself. But when you are choosing out of love, you trust the Universe/Life to protect you. And let me ask you this: Who do you think can protect you better? You, with a limited view of the reality and its connections or Life, who knows the higher truth, sees the bigger picture and is connected to everything that exists?
Want to know how I learned this the hard way? I was put in the position where a client who was in a very powerful position told me he’s unhappy and wants me to give him his money back. But I knew that I did my job and that the outcome was the best possible in those conditions. Knowing this, I was at peace with what happened and I knew that it was an unfair request. From there, all of our communication was on emails, with our lawyers in cc. In the end, after me replying to all the things he was unhappy about, he lowered the sum of money he wanted back but I still felt it was unfair, that actually I should have been paid more for what I did, not less, and that I did honor my contract. I was torn inside because my lawyer told me to just give him that money and make this go away because if we did go to court, I would end up paying more in representation than what he requested.
But I knew with all my heart that this is not right and I would be going against my principles if I did that. At the same time I didn’t know how far this could go and I knew that his lawyer was a really good one. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make, because my mind truly wanted to protect me from something that could have become very ugly. What helped me decide was the message that came to me. That this is one of those times in life where I have to do the right thing, regardless of how scary it is or what might happen. It was time for me to stick to who I am and to my values. So I listened to my heart and my intuition and against my lawyer’s advice, I said no because this is my position and I am willing to argue it in court if it’s necessary. And Life repaid me for doing the right thing by settling things in the best way for both of us.
I learned that, in the end, choosing love means choosing what my heart and my intuition tells me it’s right for me, for who I am, and also what is aligned with my values, my needs and the higher good of everyone involved.
And yes, it was scary to choose love, but at the same time, very empowering! After this, I slowly started to choose love more and more often. Now, I am mostly choosing love. Of course there still are moments when I listen to my mind and I choose fear, but I know that this is a process, so that’s okay. What matters is that I am aware of what I choose and that I always have next time to choose better. That I allow myself time and space to grow!
How about you? Are you choosing love or are you choosing fear? What would it take for you to start listening more and more to your heart and your intuition and to choose love?
